~click~

So much has happened since I have turned this on last.

Chopsie was not my lifemate, at least according to our local Doc.  I am unsure if he tells the truth, I loved her deeply and I do not believe I cannot undo those precious moments.  I have truly bound myself to Urukha, I can sense her in my thoughts and soul, I have not had such a capability since my beloved Kimdreg.

I found my loa once again, he walked within my dreams and chastised me for simply being to blunt.  He wished me to learn my way of stalking and hunting, he believes that if I were to run into pray my own strength I would be doomed.  My loa has not spoken to me in such a long time it was hard to have him pay any particular interest in me.  In turn and to appease my loa I have started training, a very different training but has started to work.  I can stalk my pray undetected, I have even been able to find out more information using this technique.

Westel continues to be a problem, he is stuck up and very aggressive in flirting with my lifemate.  I often wonder if that is how he wedged his current to be lifemate out of her prior's relationship?  If he set the husband up to be the bad guy and allowed the wife to have all the doubts, I have seen it before no doubt with chopsie and jin'vok.   Of course I ended up losing Chopsie to Jin'vok and now I wonder am I just making the same mistakes with Urukha?  Is it possibly me being to possessive of a lifemate driving them away?  I promised myself last night I would not allow that to happen, to try to lighten up with the flirtations between the two of them.  ~There is a long pause~ Though it does not seem possible.

Urukha seems to be in pain at the loss of Annjia, but I do not seem to understand this logic.  She tried to imitate Annjia and ended up blowing up at me for no reason.  She is orc, to try to hide the emotions and fire that beats in her heart would just make her into less of what truly is and what I have been fighting for her to become over the last year.

I need to occupy myself with finding a recipe, anything will do.. I need to learn to make new food.