~click~ What a week!  I spent the majority of it training.  The weight is not a problem with me it rather is the inflexibility that it has.  I finally found it acceptable to wear my old armor again though I do not dare venture near shadowmourn.  I picked up my sword and shield once more and stood on the front lines and forgot how much I truly love it there.

My future lifemate was clingy last night, I was surprised but delighted at the little nudges she kept giving me about how much she adores me.  She has proven to be different from other orcs yet not at the same time, I suppose I am more used to Kimdreg and Chopsies stone cold statue nobility in public and Uru prefers to be warm and inviting.

We have found a place to become lifemated and have our domination fight, I am looking forward to it!  I really hope this is the last time I will be lifemated.

Kimdreg

~click, Pips voice comes through tired and slow~ There are many things in my life I have had to forgive myself about.  Kimdreg, my lifemate was one of them so long ago, while she was strict and very much the dominate within our relationship she cared for me beyond words.  She pushed me physically, she pushed my mentally and forced me to do many things I do not regret today.  She inspired me to cook, to cliff jump, to enjoy cigars and she brought my soul to the heights of very desire and love.

We were put together by a ticket of fate, within my very old tribe we had teams and she was on mine.  We bumped heads, we fought and clawed.. and one day we even found a passion that unmatched anything we had ever felt before.  Kimdreg my lifemate and myself were together for 3 of the most wonderful years of my life.  I lost her this day five years ago and there is a very rare moment I do not think of her being by my side.  The day she left this world I gave up my sword and shield, not forgiving myself at the time for failing my lifemate on the line.  This day I know I could not do nothing more but see fate take away the most passionate orcess that fate had gifted me a very few years before.   I left the adventuring world and entered the cooking world, shoving myself fully into learning everything there was to learn about cooking.

A few years passed and I healed enough to return to adventures, the horde needed me as a beserker, a tribe pulled me into their wings and I felt part of a family again, but even to this day I cannot eat an apple and not think of my Kimdreg.  Ive been chasing elementals all day and doing their bidding.. but now is the time to stop and honor the dead.

I knelt at my graveyard and could not help but wonder what if the child had lived?  What if I had continued the sharptusk bloodline?  I doubt it will stop considering my 3 older brothers and sister will undoubtedly have kin of their own.  What if I had the tusker that had lost life just months ago?

Good journey into the stars Tusker, Kimdreg, I love you and my thoughts will continue your memory until my dying day.

Kidnapped

~Click there's a sound of grunting and growling heard~ I am SICK of doing things for the elemental's.  Currently I am standing on a mountain side in the middle of a heated desert and holding up an heavy rock, fuck whom ever kidnapped westel.. Im going to rip there intestines out, stuff it with candy and then beat them like a pinata.  ~There is a loud click heard~

Birthday

It was my soon to be lifemates birthday today.  I work her up with a great deal of banana things, pancakes, muffins, and juice.  She was delighted, I also gave her some pampering and enjoyed her company until it was way to late for the both of us to get out of bed.

 I was waiting for my meeting to start with the tribe and I smelled her.. she stood out of the bar and peered at me and then out to the crowd and remained there until I left for my meeting.  I felt the intense ball of rage build into the pit of my stomach and flow through my veins, I felt anger.. I felt uncontrolled rage.  Why had she not talked to me? Why had she not bothered to visit the grave of our baby?  Why the fuck did she feel it necessary to ignore me for months at a time?  I am so angry I could feel the blood and fire pumping through my ears, it continued and fogged my ability to lead my strike force into victory, we came back burned, soiled and defeated.

I am angry that this is affecting my ability to lead, I am angry that she pretends or has figured out a way to forget me.  I have done NOTHING wrong to her, we had hardly any fights, shes such a selfish bitch.

Dinner

~Click~ Yesterday as always is the tribe meeting and my soon to be lifemate and myself always strive to have dinner right before.  It is a small ritual we try to keep going but yesterday my poor mate had fallen asleep through the dinner and almost to the meeting.  I mocked her quite a bit and prodded her hopefully chastising her for missing our dinner nights.  I personally am not upset but she took it to hard, I was hoping that she would fight back or at least mock me back for other things I have been late to.  She did not.

During our little truth games she told me she was trying to strive to apologize less.  While this little insistent is a sign of her slightly getting better, I hope she truly becomes happy with herself and comfortable with her own actions.  Urukha is by far the most caring person within the tribe and I do not wish for people to make her jaded but I also want her to be strong, not for myself though it is quite nice when she puts up a fight in bed, (almost like a tiny cub vying for dominance over a tiger) but for herself.

Tonight is a play thing.. I don't understand half of  the words I am to say and better yet I dont get the play at all, though I appreciate the excitement, I will strive to do well.

The nothing

A few weeks back there was a nothing that boar a hole around the tribe circle.  At first I thought it was simply the spirits getting readjusted but there was a stench from it that was so strong it made me sick.  Everyone worried about me but did not see the massive gaping hole that was there, all except Jindal.

The spirits refuse to talk about it, all except fire and they are telling me to kill certain members of the tribe.  I cannot do this considering I promised I would never hurt the tribe in anyway.

Now there is the nothing at the tree, and the nothing seems to be spreading, something must be done.

Birthday

Yesterday was my birthday, I was awoken by kissing and snuggling from the love of my life.   She had made me breakfast in bed and lay with me as long as I wanted.  Well not as long as I wanted, I would have had her the whole damned day but it was close!

The more time I spent with my soon to be life mate the more I love and dread it.  Love in for the fact that she truly feels like my other half as many orcs put it.  Dread it because I cant imagine my life without her and how much it would burn and hurt not to have her.

She got me several presents to represent our future together, gloves, hat and a pouch with several seeds.  You see we have these little truth games no matter where we go and one day she asked me ideal future.  My answer was simply wearing a large floppy hat, and having a huge garden with a mate I love.  Simple I know, but Ive seen enough violence and hate, I would like at least part of my life to be calming.

I had a odd goblin ask me why I jump everywhere... my answer was simply because I wanted to.  She then called me weird ~scoffs~ I have done MUCH odder things that deserve it.  Her name was bye.

To be a beskerker

~There was the click of the goblin recording device and a clinkity clankity of armor in the background as Pip paced back and fourth~ I've been training to wield the sword and shield once more, to hold a sword in my hand and be deadly against ones foes instead of relying on the elements.  When I became brain damaged and incapable of talking to the spirits my father sent me to berserker school in orgrimmar.   He sent me out fully expecting me to die ether there or on the battle field.  I never died.

Wielding the sword and shield once more.. and my trusty claymore reminded me about the rage that burns trough my veins, the absolute dedication one must have to ones life and decisions.  To be a beserker is one of the most honorable and hard professions.  Beserking not only changes your outlook on life but changes your decisions, things such as love making, oathing and love becomes deeper.  It is not because one will randomly die one day due to the berserk within, but to feel a true berserk you need to give up everyting, everyone you need to be one with your weapon and only concentrate on your target.  Nothing exists any more, not the calling out of retreat nothing it is a moment of clouded dedication to your own target.

I suppose that is why I love so deeply it hurts.  I am destined to become burned by the own fire in my veins as it gives me more than enough joy and purpose.

Binding

~Click~ I put a lot of thought into my soon to be lifemate and I finally got around to actually binding myself to her, showing her, the spirits and myself that she has changed my life.  So yesterday I burned and pierced my flesh and made a hole representing the forever change of my body and mind she has done.  Westly was the one that ended up doing it, again.  She suggested that the ceremony be different from my spot I bound myself to Chopsie long ago.  I truly miss Chopsie, perhapswe will meet again some day.

I ended up getting my soon to be lifemate both things I mentioned, though the mount came to a surprise to me.  The poor mammoth had been separated from its pack and was alone and scared and dying of starvation.  I had no choice but to end its life quickly or make a new pack for it.  I also ended up getting my soon to be lifemate a new bed for both of us to rest on, though I have not gotten a wink of sleep since.  I fear I may be to heavy or our activities may be to rough for the bed to handle and it will be ruined.  Uru says we can get another, but this is the bed I gifted her.  I suppose shes more into having a good time with me than anything else, and thats a good thing!

Spirits

Almost Dead Lady looked at me oddly the other day for talking to terrance, the leaf from Grimgok.  Its so odd to me that so many cannot see so many spirits.  They are everywhere and always blabling, I never get a moment of quite and I don't mind it.  I was born this way and well I don't think I could imagine a world without the spirits speaking to me.  Jindal told me just to turn it off but seeing spirits comes as natural to me as my heart beating, I don't think I want to stop it.

I suppose that's why taste means so much to me, it is one of the few senses that are my own without spirits bumping in my way.