Birthday

It was my soon to be lifemates birthday today.  I work her up with a great deal of banana things, pancakes, muffins, and juice.  She was delighted, I also gave her some pampering and enjoyed her company until it was way to late for the both of us to get out of bed.

 I was waiting for my meeting to start with the tribe and I smelled her.. she stood out of the bar and peered at me and then out to the crowd and remained there until I left for my meeting.  I felt the intense ball of rage build into the pit of my stomach and flow through my veins, I felt anger.. I felt uncontrolled rage.  Why had she not talked to me? Why had she not bothered to visit the grave of our baby?  Why the fuck did she feel it necessary to ignore me for months at a time?  I am so angry I could feel the blood and fire pumping through my ears, it continued and fogged my ability to lead my strike force into victory, we came back burned, soiled and defeated.

I am angry that this is affecting my ability to lead, I am angry that she pretends or has figured out a way to forget me.  I have done NOTHING wrong to her, we had hardly any fights, shes such a selfish bitch.